Saturday, September 26, 2009

Holding, offense number 77. That penalty is refused. 4th down.

There are all sorts of things going through my head regarding the word trust. Heaven only knows what might have been driving your decision, and I'm not going to pretend to understand. I'm not going to ask. I'm not going to care after this thing is written. It'll be over and done with.

If I take my emotions out of it I suppose that the reprimand I received fit the crime. I know more than anyone that I can get a little impetuous and have probably gotten away with far more than I should. But if I don't take my emotions away, I'd say something about how disappointed I am that it came to this. The problem was taken care of and restitution was made. Ultimately, the reputation was not compromised. I'm more than aware that I dodged a bullet. The feelings I felt when it was all going down were real. They were poignant. They were a big part of the learning experience of life, and the lesson was immediately learned.

Just like the next one: This will be Pavlov's last post.

Oh I won't stop writing, mind you. I'll be writing all sorts of good stuff. It's just that there will be far fewer people reading it - which really sucks if you think about it, because I feel like I'm a pretty dang good writer. Maybe even phenomenal. And I'm pretty sure y'all think so too, or else you wouldn't be visiting this thing. Rather, you wouldn't feel the need to share it. And sharing can be a good thing I suppose, but in this case it was the wrong thing to do. My bad. Your bad. To the detriment of all who enjoy reading what I write. Of course, I could just be humoring myself to think that not being able to read what I write will be all that important. You probably don't even care.

Whenever I moved this thing in the past I've changed the pseudonym and address. But then I realized that all someone would need to do is search for the old name on google and it would populate my new alias and direct that someone to my profile which would provide access to the new location. Try it, it's fun: Search for Bronson Palomino, or Marcus Delhimi, or Alvin Hotchkins. You'll find Pavlov Stowardi. So this time I'm just creating a new account with a new pseudonym and a new address, and it will be disconnected from anything you can read here.

It definitely sucks for me, because I pride myself on how long I've been blogging and it's good to see the evidence right there in front of you. When the new one is created it will be new new. Not old new. Reincarnation. Not resurrection. I don't feel like I'm being reborn, I feel like I'm being forced to turn into something I'm not. Like an eagle morphing into a sparrow.

It's tragic what happens when one person ruins it for everyone.